Lighthouse New Beginnings

Michela Carter, Summer 2017

A frequent cry of a New Beginnings resident was, “you don’t know what is going through my mind, what things I am dealing with”. Although this was never directed at me personally, I now realize it should have been. I was thoroughly warned by my supervisor that the ladies can create an environment that is challenging. And challenges were what I experienced. At the start, the ladies refused to participate in their work program, the garden project, specifically designed to help them. They were unwilling to sweat, get dirt under their nails or get their hair wet. When staff attempted to do a special outing with them, they refused to cooperate preventing us from leaving. One day we made it to the pool, but after we pulled into the parking lot they refused to go in as they felt it was too crowded. Spending one week with the residents at New Beginnings left me frustrated with their unbelievably defiant behavior.

Eight weeks later, I remain unable to fathom the challenges the residents of New Beginnings have faced in a teenager’s life-span. I have never been so humbly aware of the degree in which we are products of the circumstances we are born into. The ladies who reside at New Beginnings are not average teenagers. They are under the care of the state, but they are not able to be in a foster home due to being classified as having serious to severe mental and/or behavioral issues. On my last day as an intern at New Beginnings, one of the residents shared her story. She was the unwanted daughter of infidelity—born into the world by a prostitute and raised by her father who suffered from severe post-traumatic stress disorder and resultant violent episodes. She simply stated, “I drew a bad hand in the whole parent game”. Later in the conversation, she expressed how she felt she would be living an average life if she had average parents. A version of this statement is true for every resident at New Beginnings. And a similar story makes their unbelievable defiance believable.

A “new beginning” is simply what these ladies need. They are victims of unfortunate circumstances which occur in a world that is filled with hurt and pain. It is painless for me to carry on my life naïve to the fact that people are suffering so severely as these ladies. The ladies’ behavior could easily be played off as extreme teenager defiance which can only be corrected by severe discipline. But at the home, they are approached differently for the first time in their lives. They aim to heal their deep wounds in addition to establish a structured environment for them. I am so grateful these ladies have taught me who they truly are. They are warriors. They have survived unfathomable circumstances. Unfortunately, their pasts have left them with hard shells making it difficult for their true selves to penetrate through. This invaluable lesson is one which will carry with me for the rest of my life. Every individual I pass on the street, every classmate I sit with in lecture, every patient I will one day see will have their own story featuring challenges which I am unaware of. These challenges will shape their actions. I will strive to approach every encounter with a humbled heart which searches to see beyond the surface of an individual. Thank you to the New Beginnings ladies for giving me my own new beginning.